Role reversal: Do stay-at-home dads benefit from flexible working options?

More and more men are swapping briefcases for baby bottles, with the number of stay-at-home dads doubling over the past 10 years in Australia. The trend of changing gender roles has many benefits, from strengthening the bond between father and child to supporting women in the workforce. A growing number of companies are also doing their part by offering parental leave to fathers as the primary carer.

However, while the number of stay-at-home fathers is rising overall, when it comes to parental leave, Australia lags behind. Just one in 50 Aussie dads take it, compared to 40 per cent in Portugal and Nordic countries, according to research from the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development.

For most dads, paternity leave is an opportunity to spend invaluable time with their children and allows their partners to return to work. However, many men question the social impact it will have on their lives and their careers. Will I still be perceived as being ambitious? Will my colleagues take me seriously? Will my friends question my ‘manhood’ if my wife is the sole financial provider? The fact is, gender biases still exist. The OECD study reveals that a 'relatively short' period of leave results in more positive employment outcomes, whereas taking leave for longer than a year can damage future earning prospects and increases the likelihood of men leaving the workforce altogether. Understandably, these concerns are key factors in fathers electing not to take long parental leave.

It also raises the question of how authentic businesses are with flexible work offerings.

Are they genuinely supporting men in their quest to become hands-on fathers or is it simply a tick in the box for corporate diversity and inclusion strategies? Employers should encourage fathers to take longer parental leave without fear of consequence. Why?

Encouraging and supporting fathers who take parental leave is hugely important, not just for them but their families. A long-term study by the Child study centre at Yale School of Medicine, proved that a father’s active involvement with his children, from birth to adolescence, promotes greater emotional balance, stronger curiosity and a stronger sense of self-assurance in the child.

Additional studies show that during the first five years of a child’s life, the father’s role is more influential than the mother’s in how the child learns to manage his or her body, navigate social circumstances, and play. And findings by Robert Frank, a professor of child development at Oakton Community College in Illinois revealed that both parents play an equal role in a child’s development but the stay-at-home father arrangement was most beneficial for the child. 

Men who leave work to care for their children should therefore be proud of their decision. But just like mothers on maternity leave, men, too, miss stimulating adult conversation and the satisfaction and recognition of a job well done. While mums often socialise through playdates and mothers' groups, these support groups and communities do not exist today for stay-at-home dads. In fact, it can be a downright struggle for fathers, which can lead to overwhelming feelings of isolation.

So, what’s in it for dads and how can we increase parental leave uptake for men?

Parental leave is a special time filled with many memorable moments and provides a unique opportunity to experience fatherhood. It’s also a fabulous time to re-assess future job roles and figure out what’s really important. For instance, some dads may give up work altogether, while others may take on a new business venture that allows them to juggle children and career.

But before fathers can truly benefit, we need to continue to change our culture and the way we think about the workforce and how we support families. Parent support groups are essential and must become inclusive regardless of gender. Even the simplest shifts can make a difference, for example referring to ‘mothers groups’ as ‘parent’ or ‘carer’ groups and setting the expectation that all (regardless of gender) are welcome. Businesses can also do their part by offering flexible working conditions. These may include permitting staff to work remotely or to job-share or work part-time. Return to work programs can also support parents to ensure they hit the ground running in aspirational roles.

If you are a father who would like help transitioning into parenthood or want to learn how to identify and evolve your career while on parental leave, connect with me by viewing my profile.

Elly Stone is a founding FlexCoach and is passionate about supporting women in business and helping families transition into parenthood. She specialises in life coaching, career management and transitions.